I don’t know about you, but I find that time does 2 very different things lately. Each day seems to last forever. But then, a week is gone before I even know it. A month, a year, goes even faster. Is it an effect of age? Is it an effect of mindfulness?

If it’s my age, it’s because I am getting older and have more to remember. I just can’t keep up with everything that happened a day ago. I make my to do list and check it off as I go, so I know I’ve done things. I can look around and see that I’ve done things like start seeds, water my plants, clean the house. While I’m doing them, they seem to last forever, though. Cleaning up the kitchen seems to be taking an hour, but I look at the clock and see that I only took 10 minutes. Binge watching TV seems to be fleeting, but then I look up and it has been hours, and I can’t remember what I watched. Is that because the TV isn’t as engaging as it once was? Am I just checking out and not paying attention because it isn’t important? I am usually crocheting while I watch, so maybe I’m paying more attention to the yarn and hook than the show.

Of course, if it’s mindfulness, it’s not something I’ve ever heard or read of in respect to mindfulness. I know you focus on the present, not the past or the future. Is that why the past and future seem so intangible and rapid? the present so long and lengthy timewise in comparison? I try to be mindful because I find it helps with my stress and anxiety. If I’m not reliving the mistake I made 3 weeks ago, I am healthier and happier. If I’m not worried about getting tasks done at work, I am more productive and more proficient. In both cases, the past and future seem to fly by and not linger, while the present is all there is.

I think I’ve decided I’m feeling a combination of the 2. Rarely is something all one thing or another. I think it much more likely for things to blend into a combination, like red and white make pink. Different amounts of red or white will give you a different value of pink. I think age and mindfulness do the same. Pale pink is my focus on the present versus the focus on past or future. Dark pink is the fact that I just have so much to remember now that it is hard to hold all of the past and future equally in place. It isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it seems to be making me more secure and content with my life. Healthier. Happier. I can plan. I can track. I just don’t focus on the time that has gone or is coming. I have no real control over time. Only my perception of it. So, I think I’ll stick with my mindful focus on the present and my not worry about my age causing me to have less attention for the past and future.