I have to admit that I have a tough time getting myself to exercise. I’d much rather read a book or do some crafts. But, sitting is the new smoking, so shouldn’t I try to do something about it?

I actually feel good when I work out. The endorphins and the accelerated pulse make me feel physically good. The act of doing the work out makes me feel pride in myself and hope that I will reach my health goals. I even have time to work out. So why do I struggle to keep it going?

As my WW leader says, you can lose weight without exercise, but you’ll never maintain it unless you stay active. I know this is true. So why have I kept working out in bursts and not kept it up? I feel good when I do it, so what reasons do I have to NOT work out?

Some of it comes from my depression and desire to crawl into a nice dark corner and hide from the world. I know people think I’m disgusting to look at because I am fat. I always feel stressed when I eat in front of strangers. I’m sure they are thinking that I don’t need to eat and that I waddle everywhere I go. I just know they think I’m as graceful as a walrus. So you definitely won’t catch me doing a public workout.

So, what to do? First of all, I need to find my own safe place and time to exercise. I need to know I won’t be judged or ridiculed. So, I work out at home, away from prying eyes. Secondly, I have to remind myself that it actually feels good to get my body moving. Remember the endorphins and how well my body can move. Third, remember my goal. I am going to lose another 90-100 lbs. It will take some time, but I will get there. Faster if I keep moving than if I don’t move.

Every morning I walk laps in my house. A couple times a week I hide in my bedroom and workout with weights and pilates. I keep reminding myself that it is good for me. I use cheerleading statements to keep myself going. Music helps maintain my momentum. And I do see progress. I’m down 110 lbs. now. I have worked hard to do it, and I’ll keep on working and moving my body.