I have been on this weight loss journey most of my life. This time, it seems that I am actually succeeding. I’m down 100 lbs. now. I still have a way to go. So how do I keep it up?

I am focusing on portion control and mindful eating. I allow myself to eat what I am wanting, only I eat it slowly and enjoy it. Then I stop when I’m satisfied, not full. What is the difference?

Well, being satisfied, for me, means that I have enjoyed eating the food. I prepared the food to my own specifications. I focused on the food as I ate. I took time to experience the taste, the scent, the texture. I stop eating when the food stops tasting as good. You know, the first few bites are always the best ones. It used to be that I would keep on eating, chasing that elusive first bite taste. Eating more and more, even after I was full. I’d keep going until it hurt. And I still wasn’t satisfied or fulfilled. All it ended up giving me was a feeling of powerlessness and emptiness, some guilt, and an upset stomach.

I’ve learned that I feel better if I don’t eat until I’m full. I heard somewhere that Japanese people who live really long lives say to stop eating when you’re 80% full. That is what started me on this reasoning. I also did a lot of reading on mindful eating. I learned that taking my time and eating less actually makes the food I do eat taste better. I feel more satisfied and in control. I don’t think that I have to eat it all because there isn’t any more coming or someone is going to take it away from me.

I used to think that I wasn’t allowed to have food. My mom and dad would actually hide food from me. Make me stop eating when they decided I should. I had very little control over my eating habits. I developed some serious issues and an addiction to food. Once I could get food for myself, I ate it all like it was going to disappear. I tried to soothe myself with huge quantities of food. Trying to fill the whole inside. It didn’t work. I finally understand that. I wasn’t in control, the food was.

So, how do I keep it up? I do a lot of reflective writing in my journal. I work through my feelings instead of trying to eat them. I eat mindfully. That means slowly, calmly, attentively, and serenely. I remind myself that I am in control now, not the food or my parents.

I am starting to see a difference in my body and my mind. I feel stronger and more competent. I know I can do this if I keep taking good care of myself and being patient with myself.