Month: February 2022

Perfectionism and losing weight

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Last week the WW workshop was about perfectionism and how it can hinder weight loss. The consensus in the group was that being a perfectionist definitely complicates the process and limits success. This idea that you must always do the exactly correct thing at the correct time and in the correct way or you have failed, is guaranteed to make you unhappy and frustrate you in reaching your goals. In DBT, the emphasis is on progress, not perfection. A much more sensible way to approach any goal, in my opinion. It encourages you to move on with what is, so you aren’t creating more misery and suffering for yourself by expecting things that just aren’t reasonable.

A classic example, you’ve been tracking your food, weighing and measuring all your portions, keeping under your daily points/calories goal, then you eat a piece of cake. The perfectionist in you says “Aha, I knew you couldn’t do it! May as well give up and go back to the old way of doing things!” So, you proceed to undo all the good things you have done. You minimize your success and focus instead on the one mistake. You keep on eating and stop tracking. In the end, you are worse off than when you started or even if you’d just forgiven yourself and gotten back on track after the cake. One piece of cake does not equal a gluttinous life.

The better thing to do, would be to forgive yourself and resume your good behaviors. Focus on all that you have done well. How far you’ve come. Accept that you are human, and from time to time you will slip off the straight and narrow. It’s OK. You don’t lose the path unless you keep going down the food addiction trail. You can get back to making progress and improving your life and reaching your goals.

Last Saturday, I earned my 25 lb. charm at WW. I admit I’ve gotten some help from my doctor. She put me on Ozempic, and it is starting to work. I find it hard to eat as much at a sitting as I used to. It actually feels like my stomach starts turning flips. I needed the help to learn not to hoover up all the food on the table, like someone is going to take it away from me. My mom isn’t here to take the food away any more. No one in my house is going to tell me to stop eating, except for me. Also, I’m not a high school science teacher any more. We only had 20 minutes to eat lunch, and do any paperwork or phone calls that had to be done. Now, I can take my time and eat and actually taste and enjoy the food. I try to eat mindfully. I’m getting better and better at it. I actually taste my food now, and savor it. I find I’m more satisfied with less food, but I do want better quality (butter not margarine, for example).

My ultimate goal is to lose 200 pounds. I have to see each step I take as success. Perfection is NOT an option. I am human. It took me 53 years to get here. I have the habits of a lifetime to unlearn. I have new tools and help in my journey. I have a mantra that I use “Progress, not perfection; accept, don’t expect.”

What to do when the binge monster strikes

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I know you’ve all felt it. The overwhelming urgent need to eat a ton of food in a very short period of time. Cheeseburgers and cake are my 2 main go to’s. I remember in high school, I would eat an entire quarter sheet cake and all of the sugary icing in 10 minutes. I was obviously trying to comfort and reassure myself, but at the time all I could think was that I was in control while I bought and ate the cake. Now, I know that is not the case. I am a food addict. It’s really hard to stop. After all, you can’t go cold turkey. You have to eat to live.

I’ve spent years in therapy and at Weight Watchers (WW). Slowly learning how to take care of myself and stop self harming by shoveling food into my body like it was a trash heap. No one deserves to be treated like that by anyone. I know that now. Sometimes I even feel it. That’s the hard part. Reconciling the feelings, habits, and knowledge into agreement.

I spend a lot of time writing out my feelings. Getting them out of my head. Often it goes like this, I list all the things that are bothering me in a numbered list. Then, I expand the list by listing all the details and facts about each item. Next, I write down a list of things I can do for each thing. Finally, I plan what to do to address the problem. It gets all of the chaos out of my mind. It helps me see the difference between my facts and feelings. It helps me feel in control.

Now, I’m applying this to my weight. When I feel a binge coming on, I try to stop to analyze why I’m feeling the urge. This helps in 2 ways. The first is that it simply takes time that sometimes allows to urge to pass. Second, it helps me let the feelings pass and focus on what is really happening. For example, I was craving a McDonald’s binge a week ago. I normally would order 5 cheeseburgers, a quarter pounder, a McChicken or 2, and fries and sundaes. In the past, I would have devoured it without even tasting it or pausing to think if I were hungry. Last week, I stopped and wrote instead. I listed my problems (money, weight, loneliness, worries about work). Then, I wrote down the facts for each category. I made a tree diagram and color coded it so I could really see what was happening. After that, I wrote what would be all the options, positive and negative (spend the money and gorge, save the money and eat a sandwich, save the money and not eat, etc.). After a few minutes, I decided the best course of action was to not order McDondalds. Instead, I had a salad with grilled chicken breast made from things in my refrigerator. A win/win. I ate healthy, instead of carrying out my unhealthy relationship with food. I saved money, which lowered my worries about paying bills.

Granted, it is hard to always stop yourself and journal instead of eat. I still slip up. But, I am getting stronger and better at taking good care of myself. Showing myself some good love.

I’ve lost 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Yippy! It is an effort, but I think it is worth it.